Just two weeks before Christmas, the festival of joy and happiness, we at The-spoof headquarters have received a very distressful letter from our beloved Santa Claus.
On the fateful day of December, the 8th, an elf wearing green woolen clothing and a red and white scarf, handed over a letter to one of our editors. The letter was written in an alien language, which when decoded by our expert team of kindergarten teachers, revealed a horrific message.
The letter, signed by Santa (misspelled as Satan), was actually an application for a paid maternity leave. Apparently, Santa has been spending too much time "toying" with the elves and has gotten himself in trouble. He has requested that he shall be granted an appropriate period of time as he will not be able to deliver the gifts on time.
Although, nowhere is it mentioned in the letter as to how such a situation has occurred, scholars are already putting forth their conspiracy theories. One of them says assertively, "You know, even as a child, I always watched Santa's belly and told my mamma that something was very fishy about this man. Now I have proof about it."
While the World Organizations have no other option than to accept the application, kids around the world are protesting and performing riots. 3-year old Mark Williams, one of the rioters, says to Santa, "Take this and shove it up yours." Mark was using the longest appendage of his hand while saying the words above.