In an announcement that quickly set Hilltop Council Estate in Wigan ablaze with excitement, 17 year old Kate Middleton announced not only her pregnancy but that she was going to give up her child for adoption.
In a tale of Kate's, while one happily announced her pregnancy to the World's press and was accompanied by her devoted husband this Middleton's pregnancy is far from a fairy tale.
"I was knocked up down a back alley" hissed Kate the younger, while sucking up a cigarette "it was a 'knee trembler' with some bloke I met down the pub" she said as she blew smoke from her mouth, yellow stained teeth protruding from her thin, harsh lips.
Unlike the Royal Kate Middleton this is not Northerner Kate's first child.
"Brittany is 2, the twins are 7 months" scowled Kate.
Kate though will give up her baby for adoption.
"I can't remember his name" she said "I think it was Jason but it might have been Gary. I can't be sure. I had had 10 pints of cider so it could have been anyone!" she giggled.
Kate is putting on hold her plans of a pop career until after the birth.
"Once I get rid of this one I am going on Britain's Got Talent…I am going to be the next Beyonce, but white…and from Wigan!'