Written by French Marilyn
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Thursday, 6 December 2012

image for Kate's baby: Due to Immaculate Conception
Would the stork by *holy* too?

The baby Kate and William are expecting was not conceived as babies usually are.

No, Kate had a visit from an angel one night and the result is a baby.

"She was all in white - a white robe - and above her head was a very luminous halo. I therefore immediately recognized the lady as an angel. It just so happens that on the cover of the book Will and I have, but of which, I must admit, we still have not colored all the pictures, there is a painting of an angel. I therefore instantly knew that I'm being visited by an angel," Kate has told a friend.

As she told William the morning after: "An angel came to speak to me at around two o'clock. She swept a wand over my body and told me, 'Kate, you are to bear a boy child who will be King of England, Wales, some South Sea islands, and of Scotland, Canada, Australia and New Zealand, but only until those four countries have become republics'."

"Gosh," William had replied. "An Immaculate Conception! This will give the Windsor dynasty a boost. Can't wait to hear what Gran will say about it."

As we have learned the Queen did not doubt Kate's story for a moment because she knew that Kate's baby could not have been conceived in the normal way. She knew that William had taken a vow of celibacy because a recent scientific report said that abstaining from sex made one intelligent. (Unlike previous monarchs, he wants to be one with brains.)

Her Majesty also knew that Kate would not have cheated on William because he had put her in a chastity belt to make sure she did not stray.

Because of his celibacy vow, William has been sleeping every night bandaged up from head to toe to ensure that any romantic ardor would instantly be repressed.

The Windsors, having decided that they would follow the Biblical example of an Immaculate Conception down to a T, are now preparing one of the stables of Queen Elisabeth's horses for the birth.

Prime Minister David Cameron and two government ministers will be the Three Wise Men.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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