Written by Backandtotheleft
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Saturday, 24 November 2012

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Francis does not approve of the oppression of women

A new criminal tagging system has been developed in the mighty kingdom of Saudi Arabia to be used against those most hardened of criminals, the common everyday woman.

The developers of the tag in the oil rich country hope it becomes the latest fashion accessory for the men folk of Saudi Arabia to force upon their wives. The electronic tag (which makes the user feel like a convict on day release) is programmed to send a text message to designated men in the woman's lives, if they enter any of the airports in the country. The creators stress this is not to prevent woman escaping an oppressive (and fucking crazy) country, but to keep them safe.

A CEO of the company said:

"Anyone who thinks that the tag is "oppressive" is clearly not thinking straight, probably because of all the alcohol that is clouding their western minds. Without continuous supervision from men, women will hurt themselves. Yesterday I watched as a man turned his back for a moment and when he looked back his wife had fallen down an open sewer. We fished her out and all had a good laugh about it, until we had to stone her to death for saying thank you to one of her male rescuers. Slag."

There has been little outcry at Saudi Arabia's appalling treatment of women over the years, but we suppose that's because they always give us a "two 4 one" deal on oil.

Back and to the Left news thinks that a tag that informs other people where you are is a great idea...if you're a child or a dog. However to force an adult woman to wear one is not only degrading but just a little insane, unless Back and to the Left news has completely misread Saudi women. Maybe they are all gorgeous faced, tight bodied, football loving, pot plant growing sex machines and that's why the Saudi men don't want to let them out of their sight. We could understand their concern then. Then again it's probably the fact that the Saudi men live by an outdated set of morals and in a country where they all seem to be trying to outdo each other in how much they can treat their women like cat shit.

However if British men could get one that went off when their wife leaves the kitchen would we? Answers on a postcard please.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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