QUITO, Ecuador - The South American government of Ecuador has been flooded with emails, text messages, letters, and two singing telegrams regarding the latest military rumor regarding that bicuspid-shaped country.
The rumorous rumor is believed to have started in neighboring Colombia and is a direct result of the director of Colombia's Department of the Treasury believing that Ecuador rustled a herd of 219 Colombian llamas and sold them to The Yo Llama Diner in Brooklyn which specializes in diet llamaburgers.
A spokesperson for the Ecuadorian government Pablo Pensacola, 42, who is married to the former Chalupa Sombrero, 27, heiress to The Andes Chocolate Mints Corporation has stressed in no uncertain terms that the widespread rumor that Ecuador has made plans to invade India on New Year's Eve is without basis [i.e. false].
Mr. Pensacola stated that the Ecuadorian invasion of India will actually be taking place six weeks later at 12:35 a.m. on Valentine's Day, February 14, 2013.
He wanted to make it perfectly clear, especially to the citizens of Wales, Zimbabwe, Greenland, and Thailand, that yes he is fully aware of the fact that the tiny country of Ecuador invading one of the world's most powerful nations India is kind of like Costa Rica invading the United States or Lichtenstein invading England.
Pensacola proudly pointed out that the Ecuadorian government, thanks to a four-day telethon, has just purchased a used aircraft carrier from Ireland which will be used to transport the two used F-14 fighter jets that Ecuador recently received from Sweden in exchange for 2 million Ecuadorian flutes.
SIDENOTE: Pablo Pensacola recently spoke with Miss Savannah Bamboo, a reporter with Political Salad Bar Magazine, and he revealed to her that he has had two phone conversations with President Obama. Pensacola asked President Obama about the possibility of the United States military providing assistance to the Ecuadorian troops in the event that they find themselves in a General George Armstrong Custer - Little Big Horn-like situation.