Downing Street today reacted with fury at the news the Nobel Peace prize had been awarded to the EU. Although the UK is a fringe member of the EU at best it still gets a share in the award.
"This is the Norwegians ramping up the political game." William Hague commented off the record. "They want to push us out of the EU sooner rather than later. They know that expulsion because we are going to invade Iran next year if Romney wins the US Election is not what we want. We do need the UK to be expelled from the EU, that way we can sell it as a victory to the public and they will turn a blind eye to things like fuel prices trebling but we know the war in Iran will be divisive and this will make it even worse."
Mitt Romney said "David Cameron has promised us support and we know he will deliver. Neither of us have a plan B on the economy all we have is a plan to start a long pointless war so that we can profit in the short term from defense contracts and in the long term from oil."
"I haven't heard the news today." Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg told the BBC "Because of what I said at conference Mr Cameron has banned me from the TV and Radio for three weeks. I also have to polish Boris Johnson's shoes which as you can imagine is not an easy job. I'm sure that Mr Cameron and his chums will sort out any problem. I have sent $10,000us to support Mitt as Mr Cameron instructed me to do and I will support war in Iran."
"It looks like England will be forced into a referendum earlier than we have ours." Alex Salmond Scotland's First Minister said "Scotland is proud to have won such a great prize and I urge all scots to have a wee dram tonight to celebrate."