Brussels - "I guess Barack O'Bummer set the bar so low that this year's gong had to be a walk-over," top NATO general Sir Monty Dambusta, VC and bar, said today as news of the award broke.
Six decades of smoke 'n' mirrors bollocks have been lionized by the Norwegian organization in honoring the Illuminati's bankrupt European slush fund.
"I blame their longstanding addiction to upping KGB rascals," Dambusta added, "in gonging up this preposterous bottom-feeding cabal.
"Besides - as everyone in peace enforcement knows - the European Union's run by a bunch of crypto-Jimmy Saviles, dedicated to hiding global paedo stuff."
The EU will be joining a long list of fraudulent tossers 'like Jimmy Carter and Al Gore' as recipient of the annual prize.
Other rogue winners include Henry Kissinger [for secretly bombing Laos at the same time as schmoozing Vietnam Peace Accords]; Yasser Arafat [for smoking that 'missing cigar' in the Lewinsky/Clinton oral encounters]; the Dalai Llama [for deserting Tibet at the fist sign of trouble]; Guatemalan fantasist and notorious self-publicist Rigoberta Menchú [for blatant fraud in peddling his 'achievements'] and obsessive compost recycling fanatic Norman Borlaug [for spreading the dirt].
This year's one million dollar prize will be handed over at an Oslo ceremony before being money-laundered to the EU's 'special needs' orifices at the Kremlin.
Next year's award recipient is Vladimir Putin, 69.