Toys R Us plans to fight North Korea's pending lawsuit stemming from the fact that every missile that Korea attempts to launch plunges into the Sea of Japan. One "R Us" official said,
"Those missiles were never intended to strike a target 3000 miles away. With a range of 11 feet Kim Jong-il was lucky they even lifted off the pad let alone made it to the Sea of Japan."
Kim Jong-il, hotter than President Bush at a Cindy Sheehan look-alike convention threatened to severe all tri-lateral relations with not only Toys R Us but Walmart (supplier of the toy guidance systems) AND Home Depot who supposedly provided the kerosene used to power the missiles on their swift and steady journey to the sea.
Toys R Us's commander in chief, apparently not worried about being taken to court by North Korea told reporters, his comments obviously directed at the humilated Korean dictator ..
"It IS rocket science you idiot idiot! All WE make is TOYS. If you want REAL nuclear missiles go to Saddam Hussein or somebody. Hussein supposedly has a stash of them somewhere last I heard."
Stocks in the toy giant rose sharply, the market reacting to their latest gizmo, the Puppy Hoola Hoop, shaped exactly like a regular hoola hoop, only ..smaller. Toys R Us claims that your dog will simply not LIVE another day without it unless YOU buy him the hottest canine craze to hit wealthy Beverly Hills puppy owners since the doggie four wheel drive Lexus XL (also powered by Toy's R Us).
Kim Jong-il, fighter that he is vows that one day he will indeed destroy America .. blow it off the face of the globe ... just as soon as his rocket scientists figure out which way is up .. AND which fuse to light to get their darned rocket headed that general direction.
"All I know is 'somethin better happen real quick like" President Bush told Larry King during their recent White House interview ..
KING -> What happens if a Korean missile does strike the United States Mr President?
BUSH -> Why then we strike 'em back. Which Korea is that again we need to hit? North? South? Laura?