Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Terrorism, al-Qaeda

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

image for Al Qaeda Eliminates its Number 2 Position
I'm number 3! Number 3! Number 2 is the guy behind me!

Al Qaeda has announced they will no longer have a number 2 following the death of Said al-Shihri who was hanging out at the Al Qaeda Local 42 in Yemen, when he was hit by a US terrorist seeking missile. Said was just about to give a humorous speech at a Toastmasters meeting when the incident occurred. Witnesses said Said, said nothing in the moments before he was killed but the reaction on his face as he blew up earned him more laughs than anyone else's speech which led the group to vote Said Toastmaster of the meeting.

All 263 pieces of him.

Said joins a slew of other number 2's in the Al Qaeda hierarchy who have met violent deaths well before their 401 K's reached maturity. Of these the most notable are Ayman al-Zawahiri, Hassan Mohammed Qaid and that guy who suggested making a spinoff of the Jersey Shore.

Instead of having a number 2, Al Qaeda will create a new position that will be 1 and 7/8th.

"This is really going to throw a wrench in things", exclaimed a CIA spokesman who was speaking from inside a sofa at an undisclosed location at 4412 West Street in New York City. "We're really lousy at factions at the CIA".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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