Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 29 August 2012

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Pope JP2 was barking and on anti-psychotic meds

Civitavecchia, Italy - A vile [sic] sample of the late Pontiff's O-Negative has been nicked in a backpack incident at an Italian seaside town.

The theft has sent shockwaves among Karol Wojtyla's bastard children whose existence has been whitewashed for over 50 years.

"It means possible blackmail and other DNA-related intrigue," an Italian skullduggery cover-up official said today.

Previous analysis of John Paul II's blood is rumored to have been destroyed on Vatican orders after scientists found evidence of anti-schizophrenia drugs.

The mad-as-a-hatter Pontiff 'was always barking' amid a lifetime of hallucinatory visions he claimed came from God.

Followers, of course, lapped it all up - especially some apocalyptic predictions about end-of-daze Armageddon when Earth would be conquered by violent UFO space trolls.

At the Rome HQ of CIA Europe head of mission Lt Rudi Rookenshuster was in pensive mood when interviewed by QM-NewsCorpse reporters about the blood theft.

"The Russians swapped the vial contents for some pigs' blood back in 2001," the desk chief explained.

"You still wanna know if that'll bug the Pope's kids?"

Joseph Ratzinger is 105.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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