Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Tuesday, 21 August 2012

image for Australian City Leads The Way In Fighting Antisocial Behaviour
How many more hours of this shite do we have to listen to?

Brisbane City Council has made a groundbreaking move in the battle to dispel antisocial behaviour from the city centre's major precincts.

The city has, for years, watched as groups of poorly educated and unemployed youths have gathered in the city's King George Square, drinking alcohol, behaving in a loud manner, abusing passers by and daubing graffiti on walls.

The city council has resisted involvement from the police in managing this public order problem, largely due to the fact that local police officer's seem to be trained to shoot first and ask questions later.

Instead of resorting to potential police brutality, the council has come up with a novel idea. A PA system has been set up, sufficiently out of reach of the youths, and a continuous loop of Wagner's Das Ring des Nibelungen is played from noon until 6am.

Council observers have reported that youths are seen running in all directions from the square, either with their hands over their ears or desperately trying to turn up the volume on their iPods.

Brisbane's Lady Mayoress, Dame Evadny Ever-So-Average, told us "We are delighted that those nasty youths have largely disappeared. We are, however, considering what to do about the large numbers of middle-aged men, with large moustaches and wearing lederhosen, who now gather in the square. They are proving just as loud, what with their beer drinking, thigh slapping and singing German marching songs. Until we find a solution, I have expressly forbidden that any music by Offenbach or Bizet is played. The last thing we want is the bloody French taking over the place".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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