Written by Zako Strle
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Wednesday, 25 July 2012

image for Skydiver Sets Record for Deepest Human Impact Crater
Baumgartner, Just Before Hitting Flock of Seagulls

Daredevil Felix Baumgartner envisioned breaking several world records with his sky dive from 90,000 feet, including the first person to break the sound barrier outside of an aircraft; however after hitting a flock of seagulls, Baumgartner instead claimed the record for the deepest crater embedded by an HFO (human flying object).

"It was actually quite spectacular," stated one witness. "After impact there was an explosion of dirt and bird feathers, then I saw the skydiver bounce out of the crater all the way to the local Jack in the Box."

A pack of moles whose dig to China was disrupted by Baumgartner's new crater record were reportedly not amused.

After being checked by medical teams, Baumgartner was given a full bill of health and a Jumbo Jack with fries and Coke.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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