Orgiva, Espana: Brit and Dutch holidaymakers basking in the Andalucian sun and diving into their swimming pool were shaken last night as they had to suddenly put their life-saving skills into action.
After their delicious, romantic meal the Brit twit decided to put on the even more romantic swimming pool lights and decided, after downing a litre of "vino tinto", to take an evening swim, naked (aagh!). His Dutch wife refused to join him, naked, but discovered 2 wasps, 2 moths and a huge beetle (not a Scouse version) also in for an evening dip.
Unfortunately the bugs couldn't swim and were not wearing their swim vests either! In a dramatic rescue act the half-canned, naked Brit (who shall remain nameless, but legless) swooped under the water like Mark Spitz and lifted the bugs to safety (saving the huge black beetle was rather more difficult because he was swimming on his back and also legless).
Within 10 seconds 5 lives had been saved and after this superb act of self-sacrifice, the Brit really got totally legless!
The local Spanish press were informed about this magnificent rescue operation and selfless sacrifice and now the mayor of Orgiva is honouring the Brit and his Dutch wife with a kilo of marijuana donated by a hoarde of local, legless hippies!
More as we get it; OLÉ!
(Maybe it's the sunstroke not backstroke?)