Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Kids, Monaco

Saturday, 3 June 2006

image for Moms Mob Monaco For Paternity Tests

Reeling from the recent announcement that their beloved Prince Albert II had fathered a second child out of wedlock, Monaco residents now have to bear another shock -- seeing the onslaught of single moms the world over, kids in tow, arriving in Monaco to claim that the Prince had fathered their children. "Yikes!" one horrified resident was heard to exclaim, trying to make her way through the milling crowds of moms in Monaco streets.

Typical of the visiting group was Harriet Hopeful, 35, accompanied by Albie, her teenaged son. Albie, chewing gum and listening to his iPod didn't seem especially interested in the sights and sounds of Monaco. Harriet claimed that she had done Prince Albert's hair fifteen years ago, "when he still had hair to do." She pointed proudly to her son and said, "Then one day it happened."

An entrepreneurial travel agent has initiated a special 'Palace Paternity' tour. It includes a four-day stay in Monaco, all meals, a paternity test, a 30-minute consultation with an attorney, a sightseeing tour in a gold minibus, and souvenirs. The moms get a 4-DVD set of Grace Kelly movies. Girls get a charm bracelet with a mini Academy Award and boys get a baseball bat adorned with a picture of the Prince.

Seeing the tourists alight from the buses, one resident (moving her head from side to side with disgust and pointing to the palace) commented, "Good Lord, does that bloke have anything left to provide us with a REAL heir? You know, a legal one."

One tourist, Mary Make-a-Buck, 45, introduced her two traveling companions -- a woman in her twenties, and a little girl who looked to be about three years old. Both were sporting blond chignons and thick sunglasses. Pointing to the older of the two, Ms. Make-a-Buck said, "This is my daughter Grace." Then turning to the child she said proudly, "And this is HER daughter Gracie." An onlooker, recoiling in horror, was heard to mumble, "I don't believe this. They're multiplying like rabbits."

Meanwhile, observing the plight of the people of Monaco, Brits are breathing a sigh of relief that their own Prince Charles has not been reproducing on a worldwide scale. They attribute this, however, not to virtue but to lack of opportunity.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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