Written by HaveIGotNewsForYou
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 7 July 2012

image for Man, 73, Gored In Leg during Running of the Bulls While Shopping For Cheese in SW12

A 73-year-old Spanish man was gored in the right leg on the first day of the annual running of the bulls in Pamplona, though the incident actually occurred in Balham, South London, while he was shopping for cheese.

Pedro Santorini from Pamplona annually takes his summer holiday to coincide with the frenetic race down the narrow cobblestone streets of the old Spanish town he calls home due to his disdain for the event.

This year Senor Santorini decided to take in the delights of South West London, touring Tooting, Balham and Clapham culminating with a few days in Brixton. It was while on the Balham leg of his trip the incident occurred.

A fan of British cheeses, especially Primula with ham bits in it, which can be easily squeezed onto crackers and cheddar biscuits, which cannot be purchased on the Continent, Santorini made a beeline for a local Supermarket. Unfortunately, due to a "Buy 2 Get 1 Free" offer on the squeezable delicacy the supermarket was overran with hungry pensioners, determined to grab as many of the tubes of cheese as was possible before the offer expired.

It was during the melee that ensued the Spaniard was gored in the leg by 78 year old Marjorie Hemmingway and her umbrella; at exactly the same time as the bulls were released in Pamplona (0800 GMT).

The irony was not lost on Pedro who said "I leave my home town every year to avoid the stampeding bulls and the craziness only to be gored in the leg by a hungry old lady with a blue rinse. I assure you, the irony is not lost on me" or words to the affect, but in a thick Spanish accent.

Author Ernest Hemingway wrote about the events in Pamplona in his 1920s novel, "The Sun Also Rises," also published under the title, "Fiesta," and crowds have poured in from around the globe ever since.

Coincidently, Majore Hemmigway also penned an article for her local Women's Institute newsletter entitled "Get Free Groceries by Beating The Crowds" in which she encourages those who shop on a budget to seek out bargains at local supermarkets early in the morning and crowds have poured into local supermarkets, thanks to Marjorie's research, ever since.

This coincidence and irony was again not lost on Pedro who shook his head and stared into space before announcing "Well, that's me then, I'm off to Brixton to buy some Dairy Lee."

Make HaveIGotNewsForYou's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 2?

5 1 3 6
92 readers are online right now!

Go to top