Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: Women, Bible

Monday, 22 May 2006

image for In Defense Of Gold Diggers
Nothing but the best.

So where in the bible does it say: Women, go forth and marry the indigent? Every almanac and dictionary published gives information and direction, but never does one add: Ladies, aim for a life of poverty or as Shelly Winters said in the film, A Place In The Sun, "We'll be poor, but we'll be happy." No small wonder Montgomery Cliff let her sink like a brick.

Apply for a credit card, and you are asked about income. Certainly, they never question, "Penniless? No hope of income? Great, sign on the dotted line." Evolution can't move forward without money. One can't cross the street without money. Even that chicken needed money. Feathers cost, you know. So why all of a sudden is Heather Mills called a Gold Digger?

Though marriage may be a long and winding road, the Gold Digger's husband apparently grabbed a get out of jail pass, shooting from the union like bullet. Bang! But what about rich husbands? Are they issued the get out of jail pass because of their sack of gold? Once called the Trophy Wife, the mother of his child is now relegated to the title of Gold Digger. No one ever addresses the old man as the, Predator; buying love and marrying woman half his age. With his sack of money, botox, and hair job, he can balance out the age equation, but there remains the slight stench of marriage to a partner a few years older than his children.

What is the reaction of the father of the bride: a hand shake; a wink; a right hook to the head?

They called Mary Magdalene worst than a Gold Digger, insisting she was a prostitute and could never have been married to Jesus. Because the Da Vinci Code film suggests otherwise, it has been labeled heresy and an insult to Christianity. The reaction isn't quite as bad as the riots following the publication of the Danish cartoons, so far, but why couldn't Mary have been a wife and apostle or is this another example of men attempting to subvert and dismiss the role of women?

If Ashton Kutcher were ever to get dumped by Demi Moore, will he be labeled a Gold Digger?

Like Anna Nicole Smith and Heather Mills, and every other younger partner who endures marriage to a richer, older, prunish curmudgeon, these women earned every penny, pony, painting and palace they receive without being called anything other than a wiser and more comfortable ex-mate.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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