Written by Heeke
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Tuesday, 19 June 2012

image for Zombies Asking For Food Stamps
Please Give Aid and Help a Starving Zombie

Today world leaders have been barraged with complaints from Zombie United to give aid and comfort to underprivileged zombies.

Zombies United conducted a world-wide survey of zombies walking the different countries and found that seven out of ten zombies is malnourished or neglected. In an effort to provide aid and assistance to those zombies who have fallen to wayside, Zombies United has started a drive to encourage world governments to consider aid to those zombies in need.

Zombies United is a non-profit organization dedicated to the ethical treatment and preservation of zombies. Zombie United shelters provide zombies with much needed meals by allowing zombies to visit old folks homes to eat those already at death's door. Yet that doesn't seem to be enough and the organization has contacted the UN for further assistance.

During his speech to the UN, Zombie United chairman and spokesperson, Tim Burton stated, "The zombies of the world are being deprived of their right to existence and as a world of compassion we should provide any subsistence to those in need who need it."

In America, President Obama and the Democratic Party have formulated bills that will provide zombies with a form of food stamp. Zombies will be allowed to use these new "Food stamps" to procure an elderly person from a local rest home. Republicans are fighting the issue stating that zombies should become productive citizens of America and provide their own sustenance.

On Fox News, the zombie problem will be the center of attention on the Bill O'Reilly Show. The show airs at 8:00 EST / 7:00 CST.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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