Virginia - At attempt to regulate the internet went awry today when the official order to shut down the internet for the ninety-nine percent failed to make it past the hotel firewall, according to our hotel mole at the scene, Ms. Kay Sparks.
Mr. .00001 percent himself had sent the email from his most secret account, "cool_daddy_cakes". The email was rejected as spam by the hotel firewall, which had been beefed-up (actually a ban on beef is also on the agenda, according to Ms. Sparks) for the conference. The email actually ended up in the hands of Ms. Sparks, who runs the hotel computer network.
This caused quite an uproar, and several of the attendees shot off bursts of machine gun fire in frustration, making holes in the hastily constructed wall surrounding the hotel.
This all happened during the session entitled, "World War II, why we lost".