Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Topics: Pope, Catholic, Vatican

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

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Little Paul, the Pope's butler, has been thrown in the Vatican jail accused of betraying the pontiff

He faces 30 years in jail if he is found guilty.

Paolo Gabriele, 46, is accused of being the mystery whistleblower who has been leaking documents to the media, exposing alleged details of corruption, nepotism and mismanagement at the Vatican.

Gabriele has been Benedict XVI's personal butler since 2006 and has often been seen by his side in public, riding in the front seat of his open-air vehicle during Wednesday general audiences or shielding the pontiff from the rain. In private, he is a member of the small papal household that also includes the Pope's private secretaries and four consecrated women who care for the papal apartment.

The Vatican's judge, Piero Antonio Bonnet, is to examine the evidence to decide whether the case should go to trial.

The truth or otherwise of the leaked allegations will have no influence on Little Paul's fate, said a Vatican spokesman.

"What the fuck's that got to do with anything, my son?" he said. "We got the bastard and he's going down!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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