Written by Hydrogen Balloon
Print this

Monday, 28 May 2012

image for Pope Launches New Crusade, Urges Young Men To Enlist
A Young Crusader For The Pope

Vatican City-- Pope Benedict XVI has called for a new crusade in the Middle East to free Jerusalem from non-Christians. The pope has called upon all young Roman Catholic men to volunteer in a 'crusade to end all crusades'. Pope Benedict has named himself the top general in the crusade and he wants all young men to report directly to him for training.

"The Church wants you--and so do I." stated the pope. "We need all cute guys between the ages of 18 and 19 to report to the Vatican for a very intense physical--right away!" ordered the pope with a sigh.

The pope intends to personally conduct a 'short-arm inspection' on all new recruits for the crusade.

"I--I mean we--don't want circumscribed males to apply for this crusade. It might mean they are Jewish." said the pope. "Only nice young males with long silky hair and no beards should apply, the younger the better." he gushed.

The pope originally wanted another Children's Crusade, but thought it might get him into trouble. He decided to settle for very young adults instead.

"The Church desperately needs all young uncircumcised males. Apply today!" urged the pope.

Make Hydrogen Balloon's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 1?

9 17 14 2
31 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more