A melee broke out in the Ukrainian Parliament located in Chicken Kiev, Ukraine sending five representatives to a 30 minute time out, and two representatives to the Minnesota Vikings in exchange for six cases of Jack Daniels to help enhance their driving cognizance.
The melee was sparked by a botched lunch order which happened in the late afternoon while the parliament was debating a contentious bill to make Bocce Ball the official sport of left handed French speaking Russians who like writing dirty limericks.
Apparently, the lunch was supposed to be made up of ham subs and turkey subs but, all the turkey subs were really just quiche subs labeled turkey subs. When the members who received the quiche subs realized they were eating quiche and not turkey they were laughed at by the ham sub representatives which caused the quiche sub reps to attack the ham sub reps.
Highlights of the melee, which will be re-shown on ESPN's Sports Center later this evening, consisted of House Speaker Yugo Stroganoff (L) twisting rep Demitri Himtree's (EE) nose back and forth with his right hand before slapping his hand off with his left hand and then poking Himtree in the eyes. Rep Smirnoff Vodka got rep Stolichnaya Vodka in a headlock and gave him a really hard noogie while rep Alexi Romanov (J) gave a really big wedgie to rep Boris Borscht and hung him from one of the Parliament coat hangers.
"I had no idea that this would happen", claimed the order guy who requested to remain anonymous. "They were running late so when I got to the sub shop to give the guy the order he told me he had enough ham for the subs but no turkey or any other meat. He said he only had quiche because the new guy he hired got talked into buying all of the quiche from the distributer because it was such a good deal".
"I was desperate because he was about to close and there was no one else, so I told him to label the quiche subs 'turkey' because I figured no one would know the difference. I mean, everybody does keep saying: 'Those idiots in the Parliament don't know their heads from their asses'".
When word of the melee was received in the US and Canada, teams from the National Hockey League immediately dispatched talent evaluators to scout the Ukrainian parliament for potential 'team enforcers'.