Arecibo, Puerto Rico-- NASA has confirmed the most incredible news--a message from space aliens has just been received! The aliens were responding to a message sent by the giant radio telescopes at Arecibo. They are a humanoid race about 5,000 years more advanced than the human race. Their return message is printed below.
It seems like you're our new neighbors. We heard your radio signal. Let's get together and chat at noon tomorrow. See ya.
The signal that Earth sent has been continuously beamed into Outer Space since 1977. The signal contains prime numbers, various atomic weights, and a sampling of popular music. The signal is sent at many thousands of megawatts to cover the vast distances between solar systems. Although the signal took 35 years to reach the aliens, they were able to reply much more quickly because of their advanced technology.
The one-day notice from the aliens didn't give NASA much time to prepare for the visit. Everybody who was anybody immediately made their way to Arecibo for the historic event at noon today. The president, the pope, Queen Elizabeth II and hundreds of celebrities made their way to the steamy tropical site. The humid air was hushed in nervous anticipation as the momentous event approached.
Suddenly, everyone looked to the sky. A bright blue ball appeared in the sky with a shuttle-craft by its side. The shuttle-craft descended and landed in front of the crowd. A tall man with bright yellow hair and green skin stepped out of the shuttle-craft. He approached the microphone that had been set up, and began to speak in a very loud and angry voice.
WILL YOU PEOPLE TURN OFF THAT FUCKING RADIO! IT'S TOO FUCKING LOUD AND WE CAN'T SLEEP!
The alien then gave everyone the finger, turned around and took off in his shuttle-craft.