Written by IainB
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Topics: Inuit, igloo

Saturday, 19 May 2012

image for Strawberry flavoured Igloos found in Canada
Either this is vanilla flavoured, or just snow

Traditional Inuit people, it turns out, have a bigger sense of fun than anybody realised, with the discovery that they often flavour their igloos.

"The most common flavour is strawberry," said Oliver Olive, who has been acting as an interpreter between the Inuit and French-speaking Canadians who refuse to speak English. "Although, caramel and banana flavour are quite popular too."

The flavouring of igloos does lend a colour cast to the igloos, and the Inuit will create patterns by alternating straight ice with flavoured ice.

"I saw one igloo with a very pale pink spiral going all the way around," said Olive. "It was quite pretty. It was that which led me to discover that they were using flavourings to provide the colour."

Enterprising Inuit have been known to recreate works of art, such as one Inuit who recreated a Mondrian.

"I've been told to stop licking the igloos," said Olive. "Not only am I licking somebody's house, but they don't always use fruit flavourings."

According to Olive, some of the Inuit use anything that's available to provide the colour that they need.

"I think I'm safe with the pinks and reds," said Olive. "They appear to be mainly plum and strawberry. I think I'll stay away from the yellow igloos though. It might be lemon, it might be melon, or it might be something else."

Unbeknown to Olive, it turns out that Inuit never use urine to colour the snow.

"We always use fruity flavours," said Aguta Annah. "Urine is too salty, it makes the ice melt. We just wanted Olive to stop licking our houses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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