DENVER - General Urineitch retracted his previous announcement that he planned to invade Denver this month. He asks to please not tell anyone they are invading. Sources in Florida, at Disney World, report seeing Russian soldiers in uniform there. When our source Mr. Pluto questioned the Russians as to why they were in uniform, and carrying machine guns, they explained.
They told Pluto that they were the advance contingent for the invasion. They were supposed to go to Denver, and do intelligence gathering for the invasion. But, they explained that they decided to defect.
"I'm going to Disney World.", is the consensus that they all came to on the flight over. While they had to check their machine guns with park security, they seemed to enjoy their visit very much.