Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Thursday, 17 May 2012

image for Jackie Kennedy Onassis Talks To Oprah Winfrey On Secret Tape
A Secret Still Kept

Chicago, IL-- Oprah Winfrey is about to release a videotape that will reveal some of the most tantalizing secrets of the 20th Century. The talk-show queen chatted for two hours with Jackie Kennedy Onassis in early 1993, a year before Jackie died. The interview covers everything--Dallas, Oswald, Bobby, Marilyn, Teddy, --and even flying saucers!

Jackie knew back in 1993 that she was dying from cancer. She wanted to reveal all her secrets, but not until many years after her death. She chose May 2012 as a release date, because it was so distant in the future for her.

Jackie met with Oprah in her Manhattan penthouse for the interview. Only Oprah, a cameraman, a sound technician and herself were there.

The two-hour tape is an emotional roller-coaster for Jackie. She laughs, cries and sobs throughout the interview. The normally unemotional former first lady reveals one bombshell after another on the tape as Oprah stares at her in shock.

Unfortunately, the sound technician made a mistake on the videotape. He forgot to turn on the microphone, so there's no sound.

The cameraman also did a terrible job. Most of the time the camera is focused on Oprah. The camera only shows Jackie when she's either laughing or weeping.

Both the sound technician and the cameraman have died since 1993. Oprah was asked about the interview, but her memory is a little shaky.

"Oh, I think she said something about a gun, and then something about someone getting shot, and then something else about a flying saucer. I really don't remember, I was on a diet at the time and I only remember thinking about food!" said the talk show queen.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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