In a surprise statement, today God announced a recall of humans. All makes and models of the species Homo sapiens are affected. Although no single factor was mentioned as the cause that triggered today's announcement, records and interviews show there are many different ways humans are inexplicably failing. The statement cited the fact that to-date many different symptoms have been identified.
The manufacturer believes it will reduce overall harm and misery as a result of the massive recall.
Due to the wide variety of problem conditions, identifying the steps to rectify the situation will be difficult and the recall will not be simple. The expected costs to complete the remediation process were not specified in today's announcement, but analysts expect the costs to fix the quality problems will be untold amounts.
Calls and e-mails seeking further comments were not returned.