Written by Aspartame Boy
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Thursday, 10 May 2012

image for Scientists find sugar to be a bio-warfare agent
The doctors flesh became transluscent

Bethesda Maryland - Sugar is not just toxic, as some have recently postulated; but Dr. Guerivarewus, who works in a secret lab, has proven that it is a bio-warfare agent designed to kill all animal life on Earth.

As Dr. Guerivarewus has shown, plants and animals compete for space. He has shown that the production of fruit serves no other purpose than to sicken man.. with sugar. Sweet to the taste, but deadly to the blood, sugar leads to many health issues such as tooth decay, diabetes, heart disease, bad breath, weakness, and so forth. In fact, the FDA has a list of 92 symptoms that have been reported following sugar consumption.

Plants are purposely, according to Dr. Guerivarewus, trying to rid the planet of animal life with sugar, a tasty bait that kills. Dr. Guerivarewus advises people to use aspartame instead of sugar. People who use aspartame have no health problems at all; in fact it reverses death in most cases.

He also advises people to pull up trees by the roots and use Round-up everywhere.

UPDATE: leading aspartame proponent and sugar antagonist, Dr. Guerivarewus was found dead after gorging on aspartame in his basement, in an apparent attempt to get high following the death of his dog, Methyl.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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