Written by Backandtotheleft
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Topics: Hitler, Austria

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

The good thing about history is that it's always there, you can rely on it. Like the 98 year old grandfather who refuses to die because he wants to vote BNP one more time. History is there to stop us repeating past mistakes, and to guide us into a better and brighter future. However sometimes someone out there unearths something that blows all our pre conceptions about history out of the water.

A top Austrian scientist has discovered old medical records from a certain Adolf Hitler and they shed new light on the moustachioed madman. The records prove that contrary to the popular wartime song that speculated on the amount of testicles Hitler had, he did in fact have two! They were only the size of pinheads though, but the X-rays (they didn't realise the radiation was harmful to his swimmers or they did and just thought "fuck Hitler") clearly show two separate nuts swimming around in his ball bag of evil. The Dr who discovered the discovery Dr D.I.Scovry said.

"A find like this could prove instrumental in dispelling a lot of other dubious facts about the second world war. Facts like D-Day; did it really happen? I'm not saying it did and I'm not saying it didn't. I am saying it shouldn't be discounted that it didn't."

The strangest find from the medical reports wasn't the fact Hitler used to inject testosterone from bulls nor that he only ate children's fingernails. But the fact he was actually circumcised.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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