Written by Nate
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Topics: chickens, Bird Flu

Thursday, 8 June 2006

image for Chickens Face Holocaust
Chickens being slaughtered by the CDC.

Much of the world has been alarmed over the growing threat of the Bird Flu over the past year. The virus is expected to mutate and spread between people within a couple years. In preparation for this, many nations have instituted a system of controlling the chicken population, the bird most responsible for the transfer of the disease to humans.

Much of the worlds chicken population has been slaughtered to the point where, like, the long lost Dodo Bird, faces extinction within a decade. Aviantologist Ace Ianbird stated to CNN, "We expect a million more birds a year to be killed because of the bird flu, then for our annual consumption of chicken breasts."

Various organizations have developed in an effort to protect the declining population of chickens. The NAACP or North American Association for Chicken Preservation and NAMBLA, the North American Man Bird Love Agency are headed by some of the most notable chickens alive and are rigorously fighting for the mass executions to stop, considering them "a genocide against all chickenkind"

The NAACP spokesperson Henson Seed issued a statement last week in which he said, "A holocaust is happening, mankind is going to kill birds off for their safety. We must act now or risk war over bird rights!"

The encouraging statement aroused many chickens to gather their picket signs in an anti-genocide protest.

The streets of Washington have been filled with chickens chanting, "Save the chickens!" President George Bush issued a statement in response about the protests, stating, "We must look out for the benefit of all of mankind, Bird Flu will wipe us out."
Chickens were unconvinced however; a poll the majority of the chicken population believes that "bird flu" is just an excuse to increase the slaughter rate to make up for America's growing interest in chicken nuggets, such as Mad Cow Disease is an excuse for hamburger production.

The CDC, or Center for the Destruction of Chickens has created a team of highly trained farmers to eradicate the growing chicken population. The Director of the CDC, Alan Wingspan left a memo to the President, which read, "We expect American chickens to be erased within a year."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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