Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Wednesday, 25 April 2012

image for Donegal Authorities Seek 'Wild West-Type' Lawman For Gold Rush Town
Law man wanted!

Wanted: Gun-toting lawman to clean up Irish goldrush town!

That's the message from Donegal community leaders as scenes from the old West have developed on the pilgrimage island of Lough Derg.

Ever since a Canadian company won the right to search for gold on the shores of the Lough, hundreds of prospectors have descended on the area in the hope of making a fortune.

"The place is totally out of control," said Padraig O'Tumescent, a local councillor.

"The prospectors have thrown up a shanty town and they create a ruckus all night with their drinkin' an' a-fightin'. They've also attracted groups of ladies of easy virtue, if y'all know what I mean.

"Local folks cain't hardly walk by peacably without being mow-lested by some cotton-pickin' sumvabitch!"

Cr O'Tumescent appealed for volunteers to bring law to the community.

"Ah reckin' them Earp brothers could clean up the place - anyone know where they kin be found? They's a ree-ward show'nuff!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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