Written by Noy Tawa
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: missile, test,

Thursday, 12 April 2012

image for Philippines Brace For North Korea Rocket Impact - Nuclear Warhead Could Destroy Cebu
US Made Philippine Counter Strike Against Ballistic Missiles

Philippine President Noynoy Aquino has ordered the Philippine Armed Forces to DEFCON 1 as North Korea's Kim Jong-un orders a rerouting of North Korea's ballistic missile towards the Philippine islands. North Korea rerouted the launch path after Japan warned it will stop sending sushi to Seoul if the rocket passes over any part of Japan. The launched could happen anytime now and we can't just sit and watch, says President Aquino.

Calculations predict the rocket could hit the City of Cebu and Philippine Intelligence Agencies worry because according to their information gathered from deep-penetration agents within North Korea and Philippine spy satellites, the rocket contains a powerful nuclear warhead, about 100 kilotons, enough to obliterate the so called Queen City of the South. Should the bomb-tipped rocket hit Cebu, a million kilos of the famous Cebu dried Danggit could vaporize in seconds putting an end to the city's most reliable source of income. President Aquino however assured Cebuanos there's nothing to worry if that happens as no Cebuanos will survive anyway, thus no need for the Dried Danggit industry. President Aquino is said to have conducted a closed-door meeting and came up with plans to transform the entire Cebu City into a sugarcane plantation.

The Philippine Navy has sent two of its 5 aircraft carriers towards the China sea in a move military analyst claims is a warning to North Korea. Three Philippine nuclear submarines were also reported to have been deployed at unknown locations ready to counter strike. Philippine Air Force bombers have been on standby for the past 24 hours, ready to strike anytime the President orders.

Make Noy Tawa's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 4?

1 22 5 12
61 readers are online right now!

Go to top