Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Sunday, 8 April 2012

image for French Plumber Claims To Be Hitler's Love Child.
A young Monsieur Courgette in his Boys' Brigade uniform

A French plumber has come forward with the incredible claim that he is the illegitimate son of the wartime Nazi Germany leader, Adolf Hitler.

Monsieur Jean-Claude Courgette, who is 68 years old, has told family members and close friends that he was conceived on the eve of the Allied landings in Normandy, in June 1944. Reports confirm that Monsieur Courgette does, indeed, closely resemble Herr Hitler's appearance, including his dimpled chin, square jaw, comb over hairdo and miniscule moustache.

Monsieur Courgette claims that, in the run up to the D-Day invasion, his father had joined French fishermen, who were blockading the Normandy beaches against possible forrays into French fishing grounds by the British fishing fleet. At the same time, he claims his mother had gone on a girl's weekend to Berlin and had succumbed to the charms of Herr Hitler, whom she met at Tagel Airport, whilst he was hurriedly trying to book a flight to South America. Their gaze met, they adjourned to the gents toilets and the rest is, as they say, history.

Monsieur Courgette's older brother, Helmut Courgette, confirms that Jean-Claude was always different from the other siblings. He said, "He was never quite the same as us. While we learned traditional nursery rhymes, Jean-Claude had a penchant for whistling German marching songs and would only eat bratwurst and sauerkraut".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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