Written by George C Looney
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Wednesday, 28 March 2012

image for Myanmar Embraces Facebook As Electronic Medical Record
Otitis Media or just feeling al fil

(AP) Yangon -The long impoverished South East Asian nation of Myanmar is understood to be in negotiations with The World Health Organisation (WHO) co-founder Derek Zoolander to trial Facebook as an International Electronic Medical Record.

Speaking exclusively to thespoof.com Myanmar Governmental Health advisor Maung Ko Bo Derek said "Health care systems across the world are seeking electronic medical records and to be frank they are all pretty shit. I am talking to senior members of the Myanmar Government, senior officials within WHO and Mark Zuckerberg about the huge opportunities using Facebook as an International Medical Record could bring; everybody is really excited about the possibilities". Bo Derek then added "Everybody rates this idea as 10 out of 10".

Whilst Facebook users can currently Add and Delete Friends, the updated site is going to allow users to Add Doctors, Nurses and other allied health professionals, who can be granted varying degrees of access to confidential medical data.

With the application expected to roll out very soon, one of the first users could be humanitarian and international celebrity Paris Hilton. After a short trip to Sydney and the Australian Gold Coast, Paris is expected to visit Myanmar during April for the annual Thingyan Water Festival.

US sanctions on Myanmar are expected to be lifted shortly after Aung San Suu Kyi is elected to parliament on the 1st April. Whilst visiting the country Paris is believed to be scouting for locations for a series of 5 Star "Paris Hilton Beach Resorts". It is understood Paris Is seeking joint ventures with locals to franchise her brand across Myanmar. Paris intends to lend her name, style and marketing expertise. There are rumors Chaungtha and Ngwe Saung as being potential locations and Paris has indicated she also wants to open a Paris Hilton Hotel in Ngapoli.

A Myanmar UNICEF spokesman was unavailable for comment and couldn't confirm Paris has offered a huge portion of her profits will be directed directly into mother and child health clinics across Myanmar. "We really need to address infant mortality and by adjoining these facilities to my 5 Star Paris Hilton Beach Resorts we can cost effectively address maternal and neonatal health issues in Myanmar" said Paris.

Subaru has offered Paris a new BRZ in trade for her Ferrari.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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