The space junk that nearly hit the International Space Station (ISS) was erroneously reported to have been a discarded fragment from a Russian rocket booster. Upon further investigation it has been discovered that the space junk was actually the Kardashian's dirty laundry which had been aired, not only around the world but, also, outside of it.
During an interview with US astronaut, Buzzy Buzz Buzzman, Mr. Buzzman told members of the Unassociated Press:
"The whole incident was really surreal. We were outside the space station and getting into the three Russian made life boats when out of nowhere flying through space was Lamar Odom heading straight for us. He was moving so fast but fortunately for us, he flew at the space station like one of his recent basketball shots and missed everything completely".
"No sooner had we sat down when here comes Kris Humphries with a big smile on his face waving a Get out of a Kardashian Marriage Free card. He came up alongside of us and gave everybody a high five".
"We figured we better start the outboard engines and get the hell out there when we noticed that all the engines were gone and in their place was an IOU from Vladimir Putin's Campaign Manager. Apparently, Putin sold the engines on the world outboard engine black market and used the money to help finance his campaign. A lot of good that IOU did us, hell it wasn't even written on recycled paper."
"We figured we could still row the boats out of danger with the boats' oars, or so we thought. They were gone too. Someone from NASA went to the Pawn Stars pawn shop and swapped them all for three Chumlee Bobble Head Dolls. I got to admit that they did make really cool mastheads on all the boats, so I guess it really wasn't such bad idea after all".
"One of the Russian cosmonauts found a half gallon of vodka stashed underneath one of the front boat's seats so we all crowded into it and watched the rest of the Kardashian's dirty laundry fly by us which was pretty uneventful with the exception of Kim Kardashian's butt, a naked yogi wearing Kim's underwear on his head and a bunch of very obese people with signs saying: 'I've gained 60 pounds using the Kardashian promoted Quicktrim diet pill, so can you'.
"Fortunately for us, not only can the Kardashian's not dance, sing or act, but their dirty laundry, also, had no talent when it came to hitting space stations".