Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 21 March 2012

image for Somalian Pirates lodge an official complaint with the World Trade Organisation
The seas are so violent around Somalia, that the navy frigates travel in pairs.

Better known for their lack of diplomacy, a group of Somalian Pirates have turned their focus from the high seas to the high courts. They contest that with vessels plying the waters around Somalia now all accompanied by armed guards, the navy or both, that this is infringing on their only marketable commodity: other people's vessels.

"This is a restriction on our trading rights," said Captain Jack Al-Bluebeard, owner of the pirate ship Sally Anne the Second. "Other countries have natural resources that they exploit, we are doing no different. By arming their vessels and killing our hard working pirates, these shipping companies are illegally restricting our trade."

According to Al-Bluebeard, the waters around Somalia are much like fishing waters to other countries, to be exploited. The ships passing through it are fair game.

"In our case," said Al-Bluebird, "we are doing the equivalent of 'mining' the sea. It just so happens that what we are mining, or fishing for if you prefer, is other people's vessels."

The group, who call themselves Hijackers Not Pirates, which has a pithy acronym in Somalian, are requesting that the World Trade Organisation step in and remove all the armed protection on the ships so that they can be picked off once more by the hard-working pirates.

"Until the World Trade Organisation agrees to our terms," said Al-Bluebeard, "we shall be imposing sanctions on any country that refuses to remove the weaponry from their shipping. We still have a number of ships awaiting ransom, and we'll be holding on to them for the foreseeable future. We might send the crew back if we can find enough A5 waterproof envelopes."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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