Written by Mile-O
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Topics: America, Cuba

Friday, 17 March 2006

image for America For the Americanos
"I'm counting on your VOTA!"

Hugo Chavez, current president of Venezuela and Cuba, hopes to make it three in-a-row as he started off his US presidential campaign with a huge rally in Detroit last night. Having attracted thousands of hard working, flag waving families to Cobo Arena, Chavez addressed the capacity audience.
There he repeated his insistence that Spanish would be made the primary language in the United states, which would leave parts of Canada as the only areas in the Americas, apart from the Falklands Is, still speaking English. In his usual impassioned fashion, Chavez explained " The indiginous people of the North America were largly destroyed by the wave of white settlers from Europe. We, (the Latinos) are the new settlers, we have come to settle this land, and so we find it reasonable for the "native" white people to speak our language."
He finished with a swipe at George Bush Jnr II, his White House rival, "To George I say this, if you are to ever learn to speak properly, make your first intelligent words be in Spanish, To my brothers and sisters from Mexico to Agentina I say "Vamos! Vamos a el White House".
When asked about the Falklands Islands he smiled and pointed to his watch. Whether to indicate the interview time was running out or the Islands' is still unclear. What is clear though that if he gets elected, Spanish teachers across the US will clean up.

IN RELATED NEWS- The entire population of Cuba has taken advantage of US Navy exercises of the coast of Alaska to take a month holiday in Florida. Under the "wet foot dry foot" policy of the US all of Cuba will be granted Amercian citizenship after they emerged from tunel onto a Key West (Fl.) beach. One local resident described the scene to local tv. "It was about eleven in the morning, they just started streaming up the beach, some carrying guitars others with cocktails, they seemed friendly enough so we got chatting, that was this morning, now I've learnt all of Guantanamera and I've just collectivised my first mojito"
-Some see the Cuban holiday as a cynical ploy. One source inside the G.O.P said "These Cubans will be allowed to vote in november's election, its not fair, just not fair"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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