Genocidal African Warlord and enslaver of children, London Colney, has renounced violence and has promised to mend his ways, thanks to a viral campain by pressure group Unseen Kids. The group, whose mission is to bring about world peace by wearing plastic wristbands and making Glee-style street dance videos, have seen their video, 'Stop Dean Coney 2012' go global garnering 20 Gazillion Billion Hits on tube sites like TubeYourself.com.
At a packed press conference, a smiling London Colney, greated reporters with the news that he would now end his regime of tyranny and mass-murder, and would instead devote himself to a life of private meditation, possibly involving a goat farm.
Explained Colney- "Ah usually see myself as pretty thick-skinned, but the thought of all of those people wearing wristbands and T-shirts, it was too much for me. I thought to myself, London, you know all of them, murders, and rapins, and shootins you done - I tink you might have gone too far! Sean Penn and Angelina Jolly are very unhappy wid you, dey tink you are a naughty, naughty, man! So now I am going to stop all dat bad stuff and be a good boy for ever and ever."
The news was greated with jubilant celebrations at the headquarters of Unseen Kids, the group behind the campaign.
Campain organiser, Rushmore Finn, punched the air with delight, before adding - "Everyone said it couldn't be done, but this is a victory for positive action. Dean Coney, you is owned Be-atch!"
The organisers of Unseen Kids are now going to use their unique brand of positive action to solve other problems - explained Rushmore, "our next project is called End World Hunger 2012. We intend to end world hunger by organising a global bake-off! There will no doubt be lots of high profile celebrity baiting, a high-school musical style dance video, more wristbands and t-shirts and stuff. Go Kids! Go Kids! Go Kids!"