Houston, TX-- A horrific flare from the moon is expected to hit the earth later tonight. The blast is actually courtesy of the sun, which has been plagued by solar eruptions every day since January. The sun's light then bounces off the moon, causing lunar flares. Anyone seeing a lunar flare goes slowly--and permanently--insane.
The moon has been known to cause madness for centuries. Words such as 'lunatic' and 'lunacy' need no explanation. It is only in recent years that scientists have discovered that lunar flares cause the problem.
There is great concern that millions of people around the world have already been affected. Anyone who has looked at the moon in the last few nights may already be going insane.
Psychiatrists say there are several early symptoms of the approaching lunacy. Words may app7ar to have nu3bers inside instead of le88ers. The a66ected person may see some sdrow backwards. Some people even rip off their clothes and a77ack people, believing themselves to be we7ewolves. There is no treatment or cure for the condition.
The only way to avoid being affected by lunar flares is to wear a tin-foil hat at night. The tin-foil relects the lunar rays and protects the brain. Although you may look crazy wearing a tin-foil hat, at least you won't be a !citanul