Written by queen mudder

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Thursday, 1 March 2012

image for Human Frights Court blocks International Space Station's Lucan footage
At Royal Ascot in 2011 if ISS footage is to be believed

Strasbourg - He's been snapped at a late night Barking kebab takeaway, the Tories' Winter Ball and last year's Wimbledon Ladies' Championship finals.

Today judges at the European Court of Human Frights refused to release 'pirated' ISS footage of the fugitive Earl despite some attractive inducement offers from an anonymous Red Top source.

NASA lawyers argued successfully that their roving 'spy-in-the-sky' only tracks known aliens and alien/human hybrids whose privacy is protected under the Geneva Subvention.

This aids and abets global relief agency programs that dosh up 'vulnerable' individuals caught up in controversy without the need for tiresome public interest disclosure scams.

Not everyone is happy with the Court's adjudication especially 'Lucky' Lucan's myriad creditors who have never given up hope of getting back their hard-won dosh.

"Where's my bl**dy wonga?" a former gambling pal tweeted this afternoon as the Court's adjudication was published online.

Meanwhile a spokesperson for Prince Harry's Sentebale charity in the tiny African kingdom of Lesotho denied Lord Lucan was still on the payroll despite some 'great big gaping holes' in audited accounts.

The Dowager Lady Lucan is 104.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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