Written by PC1
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Topics: Iraq, Police

Monday, 6 March 2006

image for Iraqi Violence, British Heist, Seems Like Halloween

Police uniforms in the UK and in Iraq have taken on a new look recently, as British police officers have begun to dress up like bandits while Iraqi security forces are disguising themselves as masked insurgents.

London's Chief of Police said that the decision was made after a bank 30 miles southeast of London was recently robbed by a group of bandits dressed in police uniforms and after three guards outside a Sunni mosque in Baghdad were shot dead by gunmen dressed in police commando uniforms.

"Police uniforms no longer work to our advantage," London's Chief of Police, Rick Henderson told "The Sun" last week. "Robbers and gunmen are trying to outsmart us by dressing up as policemen, so we decided to outsmart them by dressing up as bandits. For now on, anyone wearing a police uniform will be easily recognized as a bandit while anyone dressed up like a bandit will be easily recognized as a police officer."

The uniform change has already caused complications in Great Britain, as British citizens began to make citizen arrests on their own policemen, thinking they were bandits. In Iraq, civilians started shooting at several police officers today, mistaking them to be insurgents. The confusion has led police officers in both the UK and Iraq to make public announcements informing the public of the new uniform change.

Meanwhile, "The Sun" is reporting in today's edition that Iraqi insurgents and British bandits have already heard about the latest uniform change and they've announced that they'll begin to dress like bad guys once again.

However, Police Chief Henderson said he is not concerned by the bandits' latest announcement. "If we have to, we'll just start dressing up like Disney characters," he said. "We don't want those guys looking like us anymore and we're certainly not gonna let those impostors get the upper hand over us."

Henderson's latest statement has Disney World officials worried. "If the police start dressing up like Disney characters and the bad guys do the same thing, this could eventually lead to terrible violence inside our theme parks," an outraged Disney spokesman told BBC today. "We could end up having Mickey Mouses from the UK shooting at Donald Ducks from Iraq."

"If the cops want to dress up in disguise," he continued, "let them dress up like 'Jack The Ripper' or 'Saddam Hussein'! Just leave Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck out of this whole quagmire!"

According to several eye-witness reports coming out of Disney World in Florida, none of the usual Disney characters were seen around the theme park at all today. One Disney character who wishes to remain anonymous told the BBC today "we're afraid we'll either get shot by Iraqi insurgents or British policemen, depending on who they think we really are."

However, there was an unusual large presence of uniformed policemen and dozens of masked Robin Hoods seen hanging around the theme park today. So far, no casualties have been reported there as of yet.

British authorities say that Halloween may have to be canceled this year due to the latest developments. "Halloween is a time for kids to get treats," Police chief Henderson told the BBC today, "but, with the bandits dressing up like police officers, who knows how many kids will end up losing their candies to these crooks."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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