Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 22 February 2012

image for Canada's massive 1989 electromagnetic pulse attack 'was attempt to self-nuke'
The scene over Quebec in March 1989

Quebec - It's looking increasingly like Canada let off a nuclear bomb in space in 1989 according to some scary files released today.

Quite who or what they wanted to nuke remains unclear because NATO, the Pentagon, the CIA and every major security intelligence agency in the world has locked down papers relating.

"Reading between the lines of what's available it's fair to assume that when it comes to screwing up the atmosphere the Québécois remain in pole position with their 'self-inflicted' geomagnetic storm," retired NATO Air Commodore Sir Einstein Flintstone commented today.

In what's been described as classic nuke own goal the explosion caused a province-wide collapse of Hydro-Québec's electricity grid and saw fallout jamming radio signals, disrupting weather satellites and spreading a spooky aurora 'as far south as Texas'.

The incident is being studied this week amid fears terrorists might explode a nuclear device in the atmosphere above Earth, causing a massive electromagnetic pulse attack that would send vital terrestrial infrastructure into meltdown.

"What we need's a bloody great big gin and tonic - er....sorry, magnet!" Flintstone added as physicists pored over his detailed plans for a large lump of magnetic metal to be position somewhere in the Gobi Desert.

"Damnfool Canadians and their beastly pyrotechnics...could have been planning on taking out Washington DC for all we know!"

Osama Bin Laden is dead and gone.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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