Vatican City-- Pope Benedict XVI today revealed one of the Catholic Church's most closely guarded secrets. The Vatican does have the Holy Grail, but is has been turned into a bong for smoking marijuana. It's believed that Jesus Himself turned the Holy Grail into a bong sometime during the Last Supper.
The Holy Grail is the cup that Jesus drank from during the Last Supper. Devout Roman Catholics, and other religions, believe that the Holy Grail was used to turn wine into the blood of Jesus. A radical new biblical theory now suggests that the cup was then turned into a bong, and that everyone at the Last Supper smoked weed for hours and hours.
"I order all good Roman Catholics to engage in a new holy sacrament, during the Lenten season." commanded the pontiff. "I order all good Roman Catholics to smoke weed, just like Jesus did." he continued.
Pope Benedict says that he's smoked weed lots of times in the Holy Grail and he says it always gives him "an incredible buzz."
"Hash Wednesday is quickly approaching." said the pope. "Weedster Sunday will follow 40 days after that. Smoke weed for Lent, and be closer to Jesus!" he said with a stoned smile.