Newfoundland Nova Scotia: A group of US archeological students on a field trip to Canada recently visited St. Anthony, where the ruins of a small Viking village were discovered in 1960 by Norwegian archaeologists. The site is believed to be the first European settlement in North America, established by Leif Ericson around 1000 AD.
Disappointed that the ruins were not assessable for any new exploration the students drove further along the Atlantic coast. They came upon the Canadian-Norse-Sino-Columbus Catholic Church, overlooking the Atlantic Ocean, with a large sign out front "Pot Luck Dinner and Mahjong Night."
Entering the building the students were greeted by a tall man, who noticed the perplexed look on their faces as they hungrily surveyed the buffet tables. There were Native American dishes, smoked salmon, cod fish cakes, Dim Sum, Sweet and Sour chicken, Lasagna, Pizza, Paella, Gazpachos, Norwegian, Aquavit, Chinese plum wine, Italian Chianti and Spanish Sangria.
The tall man explained that members of the church are native North Americans, the indigenous population of the region that has been here for well over 5,000 years. Our people have always been friendly, especially the women. The tribe's folk lore further relates that in the year 1000 men wearing funny metal hats with horns, carrying shields and dressed in fur came ashore from long ships. The ship's square sails had red and white stripes like KFC store colors. The Vikings began plundering and killing until these marauders were seduced by our women. These Norsemen/Vikings stayed with us a few years and then departed for Greenland.
Chinese Admiral Zheng arrived in the year 1421 with a huge Chinese fleet that was circumnavigating and charting the world years before any of the European voyages to the Americas. Poor fellow was a eunuch, who had no fun fraternizing with our women as did his Chinese sailors. The Chinese sailors also taught our women to play a game called Mahjong. Some of our people left with the Chinese when their voyage continued, which might explain why Columbus may have had a map of America 71 years later.
Captain Christopher Columbus arrived in the year 1492 with three ships the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria each with big red crosses on their sails. The ships had been blown off course, the sailors were always talking about gold, but the expedition was eventually redirected to warmer southern climates. Our tribal elders said there was no gold here! Unfortunately, the Italians and the Spaniards were also mesmerized by our women and some unknown European diseases reduced our population significantly. However, we established the original chapter of the Knights of Columbus Lodge.
The French, Scottish and British explorers were Johnny-come-lately who showed up in the 1600's and you Americans came even later. There are 1,500 members left of our original tribe and we keep requesting the Canadian government in Ottawa to perform DNA testing to prove that our tribal history is true. Our women are even threatening to stage a naked protest and sit-in at the Canadian Parliament buildings in Ottawa!