Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Iran, Ali Dizaei

Monday, 13 February 2012

image for Ali Dizaei 'welcome to apply for Tehran top cop post' says Ahmadinejad
Already a close facial resemblance to the current commander of the Iran thought police

Tehran - Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad condemned today's conviction of the ex-Met Commander on corruption and perversion of course of justice charges.

And in a touching gesture of realpolitik the Iranian leader has offered to fast track Dizaei in absentia to lead the country's Basiji morality police when he eventually comes out of the UK slammer.

Ali Dizaei was convicted for the second time in a retrial about duffing up a website designer and then framing him for er, stuff.

Other qualities that may have caught the President's eye include Dizaei's 'deep and penetrating' relationship with London's suspected 50,000 Persian illegals and the innovative import-export activities that keep them from bankruptcy.

A brief look at the religious cops' Farsi website amply describes the various duties assigned to Iran's premier law enforcement agency.

These include 'enforcing the wearing of the hijab (by women), arresting women for dress code violations, prohibiting male-female fertilization - er...fraternization! - eradicating gay citizens from the face of the earth, confiscating satellite dishes and 'obscene' material (eg footage of beach volleyball tournaments like London 2012), intelligence (sick) gathering and harassment of apostate scum'.

Staff at HMP Belmarsh reckon he'll probably go for it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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