Former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein said today that he felt betrayed by the Iraqi people.
Speaking to reporters outside his jail cell, Saddam said that after Bush, Cheney and Blair invaded Iraq he expected the Iraqi people to reject Western style Democracy as a substitute for his tyrannical and despotic regime. But, "instead of thanking me for offering them a repressive regime , all of my subservient and inferior slaves went to the polls in January to cast their votes in a Democratic and free election. This was a defiant act of treachery and a betrayal of the first degree on their part."
Saddam added that he thought that those Iraqis who had been tortured by him, were an even more ungrateful bunch.
"I was forced to torture these low lifes and then I had to sit for hours on end eating all those disgusting fat-laden snack foods while watching those recorded torture videos over and over again," Saddam said, "and for that, they show me their gratitude by casting their votes for Bush, Cheney and Blair in a rigged election! Had I known I would one day be forced to see all those blue fingers being raised in defiance of me, I would have chopped them all off and sent them off to Wendy's. They could be of much better use in a plate of chili then as as a weapon with which to incite me with. "
Saddam said he had already tried to phone in his complaints with the customer service department of the newly elected Iraqi government, but they kept on repeating the same thing over and over again to him - "please press 0 for further assistance, or hold on to speak with a customer service rep." Saddam said "there were never any live operators to talk to and I know for certain that I didn't kill everyone."
Although the former Iraqi leader was highly critical of his own people, he had some kind words for John Kerry and said that he owes a tremendous debt of gratitude to those political leaders in the West who had the courage to express their firm belief that there would never ever be a free election in Iraq.
"It is only through the John Kerry's of the world - who call for an immediate withdrawal of all coalition troops from Iraq - that I am able to grasp on to one last Dorito chip and hope that perhaps the Western dream of a Democratic and free Iraq will get blown away by the insurgency. And for that, I thank those politicians from the bottom of my jail-cell."