Written by P.M. Wortham
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Wednesday, 25 January 2012

image for Turkey Calls France Racist, France Calls Turkey Good with a Properly Spiced Gravy
Not that turkey

The war of words continues between France and Turkey as the Turkish Prime Minister, Recep Tayyip Erdogan elevated the level of political rhetoric to new heights yesterday, calling France "Racist".

Not to be outdone on in the court of public opinion, French Assistant Foreign Minister to the Arabian Peninsula, Francois Bijou, added his thoughts to the escalation of epithets saying, "Yes, Turkey is a magnanimous bird, incapable of flight, with the aerodynamic efficiency of a basketball, but especially good when served with cranberries and a properly spiced gravy". Bijou then added, "Oh. There is a country with that name too?"

An enraged Erdogan fired the next barb, attempting to speak as a Frenchman would if they were totally disgusted with whatever was being discussed. Erdogan wrinkled up his nose, spoke in the deepest nasal tone he could muster and replied, "At least we're not the country famous for smelly cheese, over priced wine and mimes".

It appeared to the press that the "mimes" comment did the most damage as Bijou's face turned bright red, where he followed with the response, "Mimes? My father was a mime".

The verbal jabs continue. Sadly, most experts agree that turkey will most likely lose its already modest placement on French menus, just a line item below "Haggis" as an international dish.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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