Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Topics: Ireland, Toilet

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

image for Public Loo Causing A Proper Stink In Bagenalstown

Financing a public convenience in a picturesque Irish town is causing a bit of a stink on the local council.

Some members of Carlow County Council are upset that spending a penny in Bagenalstown is costing the public purse a fortune.

Said one critic: "It's costing 50,000 euros a year to run the town council and 40,000 euros to run that toilet."

The council is contracted to a 600,000 euros deal to have the superloo operate in the town. "It's crazy," the critic added.

"You jes' feck'n' take that back, ye feck'n' gobshite, before I come over dere and knock yer feck'n' teeth down yer feck'n' trote," said a predictably and tiresomely stereotypical fan of the facility.

"Ye can eat yer feck'n' dinner off the floor of that jacks, so ye can - I should know, I had me sausage and champs in dere jes' yesterday, so I did."

The debate continues.

*EIF News & Features apologises for this ridiculously twisted version of a true story. It was that or come up with some half-witted take on a Scots story for Burns Night. Slainte!

** We would also like to point out that we refrained from laying into a UK Irish weekly for misspelling the town as Bengalstown throughout its report.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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