Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 17 January 2012

image for 'Now the Carnival is Over' as Kate Middleton wedding portrait spotted floating inside stricken Costa Concordia
Kate a symbol of upward social mob-ility

Rome - Rumors that the Carnival Dream Class cruiser was hexed right from its 2006 launch took a new twist today.

The royal wedding picture, seen by divers trying to blow a large new access hole in the capsized vessel, has confirmed the very worst.

The cruiser's prang had earlier been blamed on Friday the 13th; a rethink is now in progress as marine psychics probe a legend about the 'face that launched a thousand shi*s'.

As disasters go this one's somewhere between the Prince William Sound's Exxon-Valdez and the Herald of Free Enterprise in Zeebrugge.

This morning worried UK investors said the catastrophe is stymieing attempts to schmooze the British-American Carnival Corporation & Plc, parent company of the operator, to bankroll a new floating gin palace for Queen Elizabeth.

"We don't know why the Middleton nuptials pic was in the state room," a diving source commented, "seems almost kinky in retrospect."

Italian-sired Kate has long been a gangsta symbol of successful social mob-ility - despite being Mrs Thatcher's granddaughter on her mother's side and God's Banker Roberto Calvi's granddaughter on her father's lineage.

A Buckingham Palace spokesman said today the Friday the 13th sinking of the pleasure cruiser 'in no way affects the royal family'.

But shares in British-American have tumbled overnight prompting many to speculate that the Italian mafia will now go bust along with their flagship company.

The Duchess of York's lap dog is called Giuseppe.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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