Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Sunday, 15 January 2012

image for Did Iranian Rock Sink The Costa Concordia?
Obama is hoping Michelle won't want to go camping again this year

In response to US threats to impose sanctions on Iran over it's nuclear program it's been revealed that Iran has been attempting to block the Straits of Hormuz to oil tankers by rolling enormous rocks into the waters.

"We've blasted about thirty of the rocks to smithereens in just the last week" claimed President Obama yesterday, "but as soon as our navy gets rid of one of 'em another one is then found to have rolled into the same place by the next morning."

Exactly how many of the large rocks have been rolled into the shipping lanes is not known but they're thought to be in the hundreds or even thousands.

"A major problem" explains Obama, "is that because they're rather rounded in shape means that they get rolled about by the currents in the Straits so that from one day to the next they change location. So far they haven't stopped the tankers from getting through the Straits because after the rocks have been in the waters for a week or so they then just roll all the way out to sea."

Could they then continue to be carried by the currents to finish up rolling into other shipping lanes being used around the globe?

"It's possible" admits President Obama, "and I've sent a team of experts to Italy who will be taking a look in the waters where that luxury cruise liner struck a rock on Friday to see whether there's a rounded rock there fitting the description of those we've been finding in the Straits of Hormuz.

"We think it's unlikely to be one of the Iranian rocks. It would mean that it had somehow rolled all the way round from Hormuz through the Gulf of Oman, on along the Red Sea, through the Suez Canal, then across the Mediterranean before rolling into the shallow waters off the Italian Island of Giglio where that cruise ship went down. But yes, it is possible that one of those Iranian rocks could have rolled that far.

"I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the team of divers I've sent there don't find it to be one of those Iranian round rocks. I've been looking forward to a summer vacation I've booked for me and the family, a Mediterranean cruise for the first two weeks of August. Michelle will probably want to cancel and go camping again otherwise. I don't like camping, I wake up in the mornings with things like spiders in my sleeping bag. I'm scared of spiders."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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