Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 14 January 2012

image for Stampede by grossly obese passengers to all-you-can-eat counter responsible for Costa Concordia sinking?
Tucking into a ship's wall-to-wall grub can make you put on needless pounds

Rome - Italian cruise ship owners have denied reports that the Costa Concordia's capsizing last night was caused partly by a surge to the eat-as-much-as-you-like self service counter.

The dining room's buffet spread was groaning under the massive selection of carvery roast meats, a magnificent cold cuts platter, humunguous grand plateaux de fruits de mer heaving with lobster, shrimp and crab, a 30ft long cheeseboard, twenty five different kinds of high octane desserts and the ubiquitous salad bar for health conscious cruisers.

However reports from the LardarsesAnonymous.con website last week mentioned that over 85% of all global cruise ship passengers are invariably the grossly obese.

"The attraction of unlimited wall-to-wall grub is a hugely more popular deal-breaker that cut-price booze," the site's moderator confirmed during a discussion about the Queen Mary 2's repair bill to on board restaurant seating.

Specially reinforced hydraulic winching equipment had to be brought in last night by the authorities to airlift the 4,000+ stricken passengers and crew as the liner went belly-up.

A search and rescue mission continues today.

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